CRACKCRACK
by Inuyoukai-san
Summary: A few random crack drabbles. In which, Italy and Spain are in love with...Belarus! In which Germany is...Canada's  censored ! In which Korea has breats a phobia! That and more in this random pile of bullcrack! WARNING inside, important!


Here's a very random post~ Just because….Just because! XD I do not own APH. This fic proves for good reason.

WARNING: CRACK AND ITS *coughWORSTcough* FINNEST, YAOI, S&M, SHOTACON, BOOBS, AND WAHTEVER THE HELL ELSE YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO THINK Of AND THAT'S IN THIS PILE OF BULLCRACK. OH AND DON'T FORGET THE RANDOMNESS. BWARE IT. AND GRAMMAR MISTAKEs. LOTS OF THOSE~!

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Hi everyone! I hope you're ready for some crack-kity-crack fun!

TABLE OF CONTENT

PART 1 - In which Italy and Spain are love rivals…for Belarus.

PART 2 - In which Germany is Canada's bitch.

PART 3 - In which Korea has a boob-a-phobia and Ukraine doesn't care.

PART 4 - In which Liechtenstein and Seychelles _really_ want Russia to do them.

PART 5 - In which the author no longer has anymore crack ideas.

You can skip to whatever ones you find interesting fuhu~ but they're all pretty short and- ignore me I'm rambling.

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Part 1 (yay)

**In which Italy and Spain are love rivals…for Belarus.**

"Belarus~! did you know your name had beautiful in italian?"

Spain laughed goodheartedly. "The same for _castellano_. Bela means beautiful and your names is Belarus~"

Belarus at in between the two meditarenian nations. They both wore identical smiles as they watched her. A small blush appeared on her face.

"…"

Italy smiled at Spain.

"I was right she does like the attention."

Spain smiled back. "No, mi amigo, I was correct."

The smiles suddenly seemed very cold –in a warm sunny way.

(yayz!)

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Part 2 (OMG RATED P)

**In which Germany is Canada's bitch.**

"…"

Germany sat beside Canada, the other nations don't know yet of the two nations nightlife together. Even with the dazed look on Canada's face he couldn't help but flinch every time Canada would smile his way. He remembers the days in the trench facing the terrifying storm trooper, as many named Canada for him the "bogeyman".

"I think I would like to use the whip tonight, eh?"

Germany didn't know it was possible but his posture just got straighter he looked down at the nation sitting beside him. The glasses obscured his eyes but the small smirk was there proving that what Germany heard was real.

Butterflies floated through the nations stomach.

God he was such a sadist.

He was now really excited for tonight. His bogeyman knew exactly how to turn him on.

(P IS FOR PORN DUH)

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Part 3 (Boing Boing~)

**In which Korea has a boob-a-phobia and Ukraine doesn't care.**

The familiar sound of bouncing boobs made Korea twitch. He turned his head slowly around and there he saw them, the giant Ukrainian boobs that make girls not sure if they're jealous or not and guys drool but wonder if they can handle the duty of pleasing.

Yeah they're that big. They make people second guess.

A smile was on Ukraine's face as she ran towards Korea. Calling out his name sweetly.

"Korea~ You bastard don't you dare run away this time~3!"

He did. And the smile didn't leave. She had already predicted his move.

A twinkle shone in her eyes as she pulled out a rope and lassoed his feet together. The whole time pitiful noise or screams or wails was escaping Korea's lips as if trying to get away from the incoming boobage.

Grabbing his breast from behind, her breast pressed against his back petrified the now-no-longer struggling nation.

"Ah~ Korea's breasts really are the best~!"

Meanwhile china shook his head in pity.

(~Boing boing~)

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Part 4 (It's always the quiet ones…)

**In which Liechtenstein and Seychelles **_**really**_** want Russia to do them.**

"Lately I feel like I'm being followed."

Egypt nodded. Russia laid on the hammock underneath a big pink parasol while the Egyptian sat in a lawn chair beside him, a notepad on his lap.

"It's not Belarus though. I'm not sure why but she said she doesn't want to marry me anymore."

Egypt nodded again.

"I'm just worried that these people who are fallowing me now haven't been doing so for years and I've just never noticed because of my sister…"

Egypt tilted his head in confusion.

Russia nodded. "Da, yes there are two of them." He pointed to a nearby tree. "See they are just over there."

Egypt turned his head in time to see two girls tripping over each other from the shock of being discovered. They fell to the ground and an awkward silence fell upon the four as Liechtenstein and Seychelles looked at Russia with wide unblinking eyes.

Seychelles jumped to her feet.

"Russia please [censored] us!"

Liechtenstein nodded enthusiastically. And then mumbled something that neither Egypt nor Russia could hear because of the distance.

"Yeah doing that in bed would be so much fun!" Seychelles grinned in agreement. "Please Russia!"

A bit taken back the Russian turned and looked at Egypt who only stared back. Russia confused about his situation asked Egypt a valuable question.

"Egypt? Do you have any suggestions?"

"You should buy this vase."

Russia decided it was best to buy the thing and then run away.

(What on earth did she mumble?)

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Part 5 (Yo I don't even know.)

**In which the author no longer has anymore crack ideas.**

And so asks the reader to share some or else this story ends like this.

"I hate you Sweden." America glared at the taller man who only stared (glared) back.

"W'y?"

An outraged cry. "I wanted Sealand!"

Sealand's head bobbed up and looked at America. Finland just stood off to the side and wondered if anyone would notice if he just leave. Su snapped his head in Fin'who screeched in terror. "WAY TOO SCARY DAMMIT!"

Looking back at America Sweden eyes widened when he saw that American trying to coax his son to come with him…By bribery of candy.

"Come on Sea, it's nice where I live you'll like it you'll have all the burgers you want and you'll grow up to be nice and strong and then we can kick england's ass together…"

Sealand would have probably jumped for joy, but the thing is. America was insanely creepy as he said those nice words. He was breathing heaviy, his palms were sweaty and his face looked flushed.

As a child Sealand had no idea what to call it as a concerned parent Sweden kicked America in the face and grabbed his kid and wife and ran.

"P'do."

America lifted an outstrectched hand to their retreating form. Yelling at them.

"I'm not a pedo I just wanna [censored] his [censored] [censored] with my [censored] and [censored] all while pouring whip cream onto our naked bodies!"

Spain decided to appear and do the knee thing while America was trying to get himself up.

And then later that week at America's house while he was sleeping during a zombie apocalypse movie, ignoring the fact that it was supposed to be a date with China, who was trying to wake him up. While Canada who was at the door was beamed down into America's basement by the evil alien Tony who tried to probe his anus. Korea who was supposed to have a crush on Canada decided he wanted to read his manhwa instead of saving the poor canuck. Before being dissected, Kumajiro and Tony were having a face off. When Russia appeared to save his lovely neighbour Korea decided he wanted to be Mattie's hero. So Canada was stuck on the table for far longer than necessary.

Eventually being set free, Tony made Edward Cullen appear. The nations were quite frankly terrified out of their minds. Russia bashed Edward in two but it rejuvenated and now there was two of them. Freaking poor Russia out more.

Deciding that fire maybe the way he set them aflame. And even more popped up.

For a weird reason the Edwards were trying to get to Canada and when he let his guard down one of the Edwards' kissed him. Full and on the lips.

(Someplace some where a girl cries out, "My first RP kiss was with Edward Cullen? NOOOOOoooooooo-")

Angry, Canada turns Kumajiro into a wand that look copyright familiar to a Caradcaptor's wand and shouts out.

"I banish you from this place! Moon Healing ACTIVATION!"

The Edwards leave and head up north. Canada curses his fucking luck.

(There. The End.)

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(A/n)

I hope everyone will forgive me for writing this monster. But yes. That last part was an RP I was Canada and you have no idea how shock I was when I read "Edward kissed Canada on the lips" I was seriously like dramatic epic "noooooooooooo"

More happened during that RP but yeah, let's just say I don't have the guts to relive it. XDDD I hope I was able to cover a wide variety of humour or something stupid along those lines. Anyways I would love to hear cracky ideas or just a "hi" or "You so stupiiid why would you write something like thiiiiiis" or "WTF ARE YOU DOING? YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE DOING OTHER SHIT GIRL! GAH I HATE YOU BITCH"

…im sorry again. But thanks to everyone who sacrificed a few brain cells for this! The alerts and favs and reviews lovelovelovelove~!


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